Get it Right the First Time

Many of you already know that I take my life experiences and I think about how I would change them to best fit a teen drama, indie movie, soap opera, romantic comedy, E! True Hollywood Story, and so on. Today I wouldn’t have to change any of the details of my afternoon to fit an above-average episode of a 90s sitcom.

This episode would fall into the classic storyline of a bad day that just keeps getting worse. This afternoon I had my first audition in NYC. I found out about it yesterday as 1:30 in the afternoon. Before anybody gets really worried about me, let me make it clear I would have had to PAY to be in the showcase, and I really have no interest in paying to do a monologue unless it’s in an acting class. But, I thought it would be a good idea to audition so that I’d have the experience under my belt and because I had nothing better to do this afternoon.

Anyway as I was reading that I got the audition for tomorrow I realized that they were asking for a 1 minute comedic monologue. Now this posed as a problem since my only 1 minute monologues were either Shakespeare or dramatic. The last time I did a comedic monologue it was 2+ minutes long and in high school. No biggie I said, deluding myself into thinking I was the greatest memorizer of all time. I bought a play and memorized the hell out of a quick funny monologue.

Flash forward to today at 3:20. I printed out a copy of my resume (on my new printer that I bought and installed myself by the way!), glued it to the back of my head shot and cut it down to look all professional. I put the headshot/resume in a manila folder, did my monologue one last time before I left, and hopped right on that train.

I was about two train stops in before I snuck a peak at my resume to admire my handy-work. At this moment, I realized that I had printed out my old high school resume that I had used for college auditions. "No biggie", I said once again to myself, "I have the confidence that I can still sell myself."

Then I decided to say my monologue over again to myself. I bundled a couple of words in the middle and blanked for a second on the next line.

At this point I’m freaking.

I call my mom and soon as I leave the subway and calmly tell her the situation. She says “Well if you’re gonna freak out about it that there’s no point in you going to the audition.” So, of course, I went to the audition. If only to prove to her and myself that I wasn’t freaking out and that I was no quitter, because in this Sitcom I’m that kind of character.

I go into the audition and fill out the forms with a renewed sense of confidence. Or, false confidence, if you will. I find out the audition is like a class setup where I’m going to go into the room with the twenty mid to late 20-something actors who are also auditioning. Great.

One guy does his monologue first. He’s nothing to write home about, I feel a little bit more confident. Then bam, I’m the second one called. I go up there, I tell them my deal, they all seem really friendly, they laugh when I tell them about grabbing the wrong resume. Then I tell him which monologue I’m doing. He personally knows the playwright and loves the play so “you better make it good.” Fantastic.

So I do my monologue, half way through I lose my place, but I keep chugging along like the champ I am. I’m pretty sure I switched two of my lines around, but at least I ended how it was supposed to end, and I got a couple of pity laughs from the audience. I said Thank you and I high tailed my way out of there, quickly coming up with the excuse “I actually have to go to a job interview at 6 on the Upper East Side so I have to go.”
I had no interview.

I walked out with confidence though and as soon as I got to the elevator I started laughing uncontrollably. I’m sure I will not be getting the call back, but hey that’s one audition down one million more to go.

Billy Joel says “Get it Right The First Time,” but I respectfully say “screw that.” Sometimes you can’t get it right the first time, and everything seems to go wrong like this audition. Sometimes you do it right the first time, but its just not good enough, like my first job here. But it doesn’t really matter, what matters is that you try your hardest and that you get it right when it counts. I couldn’t keep my first job, but now I have the pleasure of working at that Ornament shop, where I’ll be working for a working actress and with other actors and young girls looking for a seasonal job. I won’t get a part in this Showcase, but maybe I’ll get the part next time in some dinky play. You can’t always get it right the first time, but you might as well have fun and realize that when all things go to hell, at least you have a good story.